Reflections About Helping A Friend

Was told one day that the father of my best friend, MN, has cancer.

MN did not tell it to me yet, but I know he will, because we will talk sooner rather than later.

I thought a lot about how to handle that and how to support MN the best. He is a very independent, proud and self-reliant man. It is difficult for him to admit when he is overwhelmed.

Not so much wonder.

That day when your uncle shoots his girlfriend

MN has not had it easy, far from it.

His mother has been ill for many years and close to dying and … his uncle once shot said uncle’s girlfriend and then killed himself by jumping off a bridge.

Yes, it is true, unfortunately.

I remember that day (in high school) very clearly.

MN’s only response to me about the murder/suicide episode was a gritted “My uncle has done something very stupid and selfish”.

MN is one of the most beautiful persons I know, he is a musician, a storyteller, an artist and above all the real deal when it comes to being there for others.

Often, though, it feels as if he hasn’t too many persons being there for him. Much of that may have to do with him generally and almost habitually projecting an image of self-reliance and confidence, even if he can admit to being pressed, sad or angry.

But is that how he really is?

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