I have had a site since 2009 with novellas. Originally I wanted it to be a novel, but while trying for years I could never do it. It was not the first failed attempt at writing a novel, nor would it be the last.
However, this story spawned a lot of short stories – novellas.
And for that I am glad.
The original novel died, but instead something else was born.
However, I feel in too deep at the moment with work and family and so my other creative projects and future plans in general are … memories only.
Including my plans for more novellas.
I want to write more – but when?
Sometimes memories are all you have time and energy for, instead of creation of new realities. Despite what the gurus say you can and should do.
Sometimes that is just reality. For whatever reasons.
But I would like to start writing again – more novellas.
So how to do it, when there seems to be so little time?
Here are 3 thoughts …
1) Realize this is also an energy problem
… meaning: What could I (easily) do to increase my energy?
Sometimes in the evening (or morning) (or during the day) I do have an hour or half an hour, which could be used for drawing and writing, but my energy is low.
So what to do?
Here are some ideas …
Consume healthier stuff
… like greener foods, less sugar and less coffee … It is a no-brainer, yet … super-difficult. But I have to mention it. Same with …
… which I will also have to find time for … Dang, I’ve tried this so often, I think the gym owes me a statue for most ‘enduring-member-who-pays-but-who-rarely-shows-up’. That would be funny if it wasn’t so frustrating …
Simplify stressful life elements
… which I have control over, for example my business strategy or other have-tos. The less complicated I make my business, side projects, to do-lists around the house and anything else, the more energy – mental RAM – I have for something else. Like writing.
Focus on building a better relationship
… that is not just about taking care of my son now and generally surviving. But this one is tricky. We aren’t doing bad, but we have problems – more so after having become parents. And we don’t have time or space much, but at least we can focus on talking to each other – and talking with love. Like it was 10 or 20 years ago … (!)
Practice mental detox again and again
… meaning making sure I get less stressful, less useless data into my mind, like random YouTube videos or news that don’t matter. That one does not take time. Not at all. In fact, by doing that – again – I win time. So maybe that is the low-hanging fruit. How many times must I step past it before I pick it up?
2) Simplify creative ambitions until time is right
Oh, this is an old ‘friend’ of mine.
How many times have I not followed this advice? And got stopped cold … and gotten further and further ‘behind’ whatever dreams and ambitions I had in my younger days.
Like ditching one novel project to start another which was ‘better’ or more ‘right’ for whatever reasons, and then stalling and stopping that, too.
There’s a lot more to say about this for me and in general, but right now I will just say this: It works.
Balancing ambitions is the challenge
Tailor my ambition to something that is fun and somewhat challenging but not – NOT – totally out of reach given my current set of life circumstances (full time business and toddler care).
Age-old advice, yeah. How many times do I have to learn this, too? Will I learn it before it is too late?
No choice then, for me. I must try to learn it again, better than before.
Finding ways to merge creative projects
I want to write and draw – again. But I can only do so very, very little. For the foreseeable future. And I have few spaces to do it in, since how we live.
My feeling is that I should go back to writing novellas, then, and build on that.
And then incorporate some themes in those novellas, including creative ones, that touch on whatever I want to be doing aside from novella-writing but DON’T have the time or energy to do now.
I have done that before. I can do it again. It works, though it may sound odd …
In my novellas there is a character who is a writer – (yeah, go figure!)
So let him talk about his fantasy-story which is the same as a fantasy story I put on hiatus for the nth time a few weeks ago.
That at least will keep me somehow linked to this story, and whenever the time is right – if ever – I will personally go back to it.
But for now just time to tell stories, in very short format, about this challenge and many, many others. And then do a drawing or two for those.
It sounds about right. I hope it is.
3) Ask for more time
This is the third and most difficult thought. But I probably won’t get to skip over it.
Currently, Char – my spouse – does the heavy-lifting in terms of feeding our family because she has a, so far, steady job and well paid.
So I compensate by looking more after our son, including when she has a meeting in the evening or some such. Or just wants to go do sports or the like.
I almost never do stuff like that – just go out, to meetings or sports or whatever. Outside of regular work-hours.
Why I am afraid of asking for more time
I have refrained from asking that Char looks more after Jay in the evenings and weekends, I guess, because I am feeling I have to ‘pay’ by looking more after our son at those times, since I can only make about a third of the money we need via my business. And she makes the rest.
But it is also true that I don’t serve Char, or my son, by not being happy.
And maybe things won’t be perfect, but I will definitely be unhappier if I don’t get more time, just a few hours per week, to write or draw.
So I have to ask for those times. I have to find the courage to do that.
The conclusion – so far
Sounds so simple, yet … this one is hard.
But there it is … and it is the truth.
A variation of saying ‘no’, I guess, but less aggressive. More like … trusting more, I guess, in other people’s wish to help.
It has to be done.
And yes, there are even more things that have to be done, but these, I believe, are the first.
Let’s get to it, then.
Edited last: 20 Oct 2018